Snore--Jacking

I will, for the purpose of this submission, assume that I am NOT alone as a married man who must conceal his masturbation habits from his wife.  

I love my wife, and I love being married, but the fact remains that despite MANY (often tearful) conversations early in our marriage, she simply does not accept husbandly masturbation as being "okay."  She does not consider it cheating, thankfully, but she isn't comfortable with my doing it either.  The issue of porn is always a part of this discussion as well, since nearly all husbandly masturbation is enhanced by viewing porn, and very few wives can stomach the idea of their husbands jacking off while looking at other women (or men).

---I think most Gen X girls were raised to believe that it was their job to make sure their husbands were sexually satisfied.  In their thinking, a masturbating husband means she has fallen down on her duties.  I get it. I don't agree, but I understand.

With all this being noted, it does NOT mean that this married man shares his wife's perspective.  Fact is, throughout my life, I have enjoyed masturbation immensely regardless of how much fucking I was enjoying.  I have enjoyed many, many viewings of all sorts of pornography, and yes viewing porn has brought tremendous enjoyment.

Over time, my wife and I have developed an "arrangement" which mostly works.  I am very discreet, and do not leave semen-soaked tissues in the waste basket, cum splatters on the keyboard/mouse, or leave a porn-filled browser history, I don't have a lube bottle in my medicine cabinet, and I don't tell my wife anything about my masturbation experiences.  Similarly, she does NOT ask me about my masturbation habits, nor does she seek evidence of my masturbating, or NOT masturbating.  We have a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" sort of policy.  

Given recent scheduling issues, wife has not been working, which means my customary masturbation time, the mornings after she goes to work, have been unavailable...she has been around constantly.  This has required that I adjust my own habits to create some private "me time."

The solution?  "Snore Jacking!"  Once wife is hard asleep, indicated by snoring, I get out of bed and march down the hallway to the extra bedroom, which is also my cumputer-equipped office and unofficial Masturbation Chamber.  I then enjoy about a 2-hour masturbation/edging session.  I would do this every night, but I end up losing too much sleep.  As such, it has become an every-other night routine which has allowed me to maintain sanity.

Husbands...what other solutions have you developed?  I assume I am not alone in this sort of situation....what do you do?