Old Age And Masturbation

Masturbation and Old Age

I'm sure there are many blokes my age on ST and I love to read their stories.  We share the same problems, to a greater or lesser degree, so I feel an affinity with the, as we try to maintain our sexual functions.

I've just turned 77 and am still masturbating.  I developed ED in my early 60's and it knocked me for six psychologically.  As a result I went through a period in which I felt I no had identity; I was no longer a man.  I was having an identity crisis, much the same as a middle age crisis although I didn't connect the two, even though I'd been through the midlife crisis as well.

So I had to think about what a man is, what constitutes maleness, masculinity, manhood.  And could I still identify as a man. If not, what was I?  If I can't function sexually, I'm no longer a man because having a functioning penis and reproductive system is what characterizes maleness and manhood.  My maleness was something I'd taken for granted all my life and never even thought about it.  So now that I couldn't get an erection in the normal way I was in foreign territory and felt lost in a wilderness.  And I felt useless, no longer having a place, no longer fitting anywhere.

I eventually went to the doctor and she gave me a prescription for Viagra.  When I got home and told my I wife, she was disgusted and called me a dirty old man.  Even at her age and after 52 years of marriage currently, she's still naive about sex and very prudish, being the product of a strict Christian upbringing.  I was stung when she called me that name but almost immediately I realized she thought the pills were aphrodisiacs and that I just wanted to fuck more - well, she's right in that as I feel like that all the time LOL, and I explained what the pills were and why I was prescribed them.  She calmed down but she wasn't excited because at that time she was beginning to buck when I wanted sex, as she was well past menopause and wasn't interested anymore. We've since stopped having sex at all, and all sexual contact, so now I masturbate and she doesn't know. I've been doing it for the last 19 years now.  

Furthermore, I was having trouble ejaculating - at the crucial time before ejaculation my erection turned into a marshmallow and refused to harden up.  It was maddening!  To make matters worse, she wouldn't allow me to masturbate to relieve myself because she thinks that it's sinful; plus, she wants to be the only person to make me cum (I did it anyway when I was alone).  So I was hoping that Viagra would resolve this problem.  Sadly, it didn't, and I was terrified I was becoming impotent. This had always been one of my greatest fears.  

As if this wasn't enough, I developed enlarged prostate and I eventually consulted a specialist.  He said I didn't need surgery just yet but recommended I take medication for it.  He assured me that the only effect that I'd notice would be that I wouldn't ejaculate through my penis anymore because the sperm and semen would be absorbed directly into my blood stream.  This was devastating news because I'd been having such fun masturbating (I'd spent my whole marriage until this time not being "allowed" to masturbate because both my wife and I believed it is a sin and immoral.  I've since seen through this fallacy and may write about what the bible says about masturbation some time). So this news really upset me because I'd been having such fun and pleasure, having learned about edging and had also learned through experimentation how to get my ejaculate to shoot out 2-3 feet any time I wanted - which was all the time LOL.  The method I'd discovered came by trying new things with masturbation and now I could make it come out with real force - it felt amazing!  And now the doctor was telling me I wouldn't even be able to shoot my own spunk out my dick!  I was devastated!  How cruel life can be!  

 But he lied. Immediately after I started taking Duodart, the medication for my enlarged prostate, I stopped shooting through my penis, as the doctor warned, but the pleasurable sensation of orgasm was significantly diminished, and the pulsation of ejaculation was reduced to 1 or 2 weak spasms instead of the previous 3 or 4.  I still ejaculated the clear semen but it just dribbled weakly out the end of my cock.  The orgasm itself was not much different to the rest of the time I was stroking, so instead of being a climax, it was just mild relief.

So, contrary to what the doctor told me, I lost almost everything I had in terms of sexual function.  And although I changed medication after a couple of years, I'll never be able to recover where I'd been before I started taking these accursed pills. I feel so ripped off!

With all this happening together I became desperate and started to look into herbal supplements as an aid.  I still kept taking Viagra before sex (at this stage I was still able to masturbate without it but in the last few years I have to take it beforehand), but I also thought herbal supplements might help.  I knew these these supplements were nothing more than cash cows for companies to prey on vulnerable men like me but I was willing to try anything.  The claims made for these supplements are not backed up by proper medical research and they usually don't live up to the hype.  I recognize that just because a product is herbal and natural, it doesn't mean it can't have negative, even dangerous, side effects, so one needs to be careful with them.  I always consult with my doctor about them before I use them because I only have one reproductive system, and it's already struggling, so I don't want to put it under more pressure. 

Nevertheless I tried some - Horny Goat Weed, Tribulus, and a few others, the names of which I forget.  But I didn't notice any change so I stopped taking them - besides, Horny Goat Weed is quite expensive.  I also looked into foods which help testosterone production and found there are quite a few; I've incorporated some of these into my diet.   

A couple of weeks ago I found two complete packages of Horny Goat Weed which I'd put into a drawer and forgotten about, so now I decided to take them all until they were all gone. They cost a fortune and I didn't want to waste what I'd spent on them, and I hoped that I might get a buzz from them in terms of making me feel horny.  They didn't do anything that I noticed last time I took them, that's why I put these away.  I had nothing to lose so started on them.  The dosage is 3 per day but it didn't specify whether that was 3 at once or 3 times per day.  So I took 2 immediately and the third at the end of the day, then started taking them 3 times daily.  When I'd been taking them for 2 or 3 days I started feeling horny - really horny, throughout the day.  It was wonderful, fantastic!  I had the most delightful tingling in my dick and balls and I couldn't keep my hands off myself.  In the morning I took 2 Horny Goat Weed pills and half a Viagra, and started looking at some porn and masturbating.  The result was electrifying and the slightest touch on my dick was amazing and with every stroke the feeling was more intense than usual.  And my erection was amazing, really hard and strong.  And these effects lasted for days, as long as I was taking the Horny Goat Weed and for a few days after.  This whole time I was so incredibly horny and I loved every second of it.  I remember that on one of the mornings during this time I masturbated and I was non-stop stroking for at least and hour and a half and my stiffy was like a steel bar the whole time; then my ejaculation and orgasm were intense.  Not long after breakfast my dick was still tingling like crazy so I sat down and masturbated for another 60-90 minutes and again, my stiffy was like a broom handle and the feelings so intense.  

I don't know why the pills worked so well this time when there seemed to be hardly any effect the previous time.  I'm not complaining, of course (I loved every second of and I wish I was like this every day) but it was very unusual for me.  Maybe it was because I used a reputable brand....?  I''ll probably never know, I suppose; and if I use the stuff again, I don't know if I'll get the same results.  But I'll certainly be giving it a go.

Finally, I masturbate a lot now and am learning to work with the broken system that I've got.  I have every function I used to have except that they're all somewhat diminished.  I'm relearning how to edge and, despite the difficulty of attaining ejaculation, I still get there - and lately I'm having some of the best I can ever remember.  I get really turned on by reading true erotic stories such as the ones here on ST; and another good source for me is "Truth or Dare Stories" and "Watchers Web".  I read Literotica for fictional sexual stories.  But while I really like them, the true stories are a much bigger turn-on for me.  I also love to look at pictures of nude milf and mature women with hairy pussies.  Sometimes when I've been on my morning walk along the pedestrian path following the ocean, I've seen women which have such an electric effect on me that I've ducked into the bushes to rub one out (I've found a place which is secluded and with beautiful surroundings).  On these occasions I can masturbate without the aid of Viagra and maintain a good hard erection for about 5-10 minutes, and because I've been so aroused by the woman of the moment, I've had a powerful ejaculation and orgasm, so much so, that when I've finished and am walking home I feel almost as if I'm floating and in a haze of euphoria and satisfaction, and residual semen is still running out of my cock and down my leg.  

But what I love best is just having a nice hard erection.  When I was younger, the goal of masturbation was the climax, the destination.  But in my older years, the journey is much more satisfying, even if I don't reach the destination.  Instead of flogging my dick to get there, I'm more relaxed and want to enjoy the journey. I usually reach the destination anyway, but having my hand around my stiff cock (dead rooster), is, at my age, a great privilege, and also a great joy. I love holding it and stroking it and it frequently feels so hard that the skin will split; I can feel the hardness beneath the silky smoothness of the skin and flesh as if it's sliding over a steel rod.  This is my favorite thing about masturbation - the feel of my dead rooster in my hand. And I can and do keep it going for ages because of my difficulty in reaching ejaculation. So the thing which I feared most has been compensated for by being able to maintain a good hard stiffy indefinitely.  But when the ejaculation does come, it can be quite powerful, and the intensely pleasurable tingling from holding my erection for a long time can continue long after the ejaculation, even for a day or so.