No One Panicked

 I had an unbelievable experience today and I will tell it exactly as It actually happened. But first a little recap on me.

 I am an exhibitionist first and foremost. I do not flash unsuspecting people in a park, To me that's stupid. Scaring people does nothing for me. But getting caught totally naked with no way to cover up by as many people as possible turns me on like nothing else. I've been like this since I was 8 years old, I'm 65 now. I keep myself in the best shape I can. I'm 5'11" now, I've shrunk a full inch. I have a flat stomach, I weigh what I did In High School, 160 pounds nekkid. I have a full head of cut short salt and pepper hair. I am slim and lean from cycling and hiking. Fair skin and not a single hair on my body below my ears down to my toes. No facial hair and no stubble anywhere as I used IPL (Intense Pulsed Light) to remove body hair. My body is female model smooth but with the muscle definition of a cyclist. I'm told I look late 40's to early 50's, No Tattoo's. I'm told I'm easy on the eyes. I do real well with much older than I women and all the horny old guys want me. But Hey, they think only with the little brain and most are desperate for anything and up for everything.

I parked at a very busy park that is along side a fast moving river, Rapids actually. There are many trails but the one I chose goes along side the river for a bit over 3 miles. Wearing only some old running shoes and a small light very thin pair of split leg running shorts with the liner removed I struck out across the long parking area about 10 am. That's about when people start showing up that are planning to hike or swim in the many pools that are shielded from the rapids.

 I was most likely the first down that trail so once I was out of sight of the parking area my running shorts got tied around my ankle. My Car keys go In a bumper lock box. I had a cheap pair of sunglasses on. ZZ TOP style. It was a great workout speed walk and at the two and a half mile mark I found a secluded spot right at the rivers edge where I could sit on a rock and dangle my feet in the cold water. I could not get in as the current would most likely drown me. It was time to play my game and to do this I had to act decisively and quick or I'd loose my nerve and chicken out.

 Off my ankle came my shorts and I tossed them in the river. They were out of sight In seconds. I wanted to go the full Monty so next both my shoes got tossed in. They floated but were also long gone on a flash. I needed to be 100% naked so I tossed the last thing I could hide behind if, no when I encountered people and became super embarrassed. My cheap sunglasses, they sunk. So as I sat there with my arms wrapped around my legs and my chin on a knee a deep fear started to engulf me and with that came an erection. I started looking around absolutely terrified I'd get arrested this time but I saw no one. My long walk of shame began as I put one foot in front of the other. 

 I was Instantly aware I had made a serious miscalculation. My feet were not tough enough for the trail. I had all sizes of rocks from pea gravel to 1,000 pound boulders, I had roots, I had sticks, I had thorns and mud. My feet hurt after ten steps and I had two and a half miles to go just to reach the parking lot. Then I faced another quarter mile of hot asphalt to my car. More and more of the trail was smooth sand and boulders so that helped. I kept my eyes peeled ahead looking for people walking towards me. Oh boy I really did it this time. My erection relaxed and left me with a 1/4 erect thick hanger. I'm only 6.5 Inches hard but the extreme fear kept me hanging a five incher with it pointing to the ground about three steps ahead of me. I had gone I don't know how far when I met the first lone hiker.

 She was a nice looking 40 something mom. She stopped when she saw me and I immediately covered my penis with my hands, a bit late as she had seen it. We were about 30 feet apart. I didn't want to scare her so I stopped walking and crouched down to try and hide my nakedness. It worked, she walked right up to me and asked me what happened to my clothes. I told her I stopped for a skinny dip in a small pool of water. I slipped getting out and knocked my clothes into the current. She asked, "So you couldn't retrieve them ?" I pointed at the river as It raged near us. She said, "Oh I see". 

 I stood up slowly and as I did she openly surveyed my body from head to toe smiling the whole time. She put her hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh and apologized. I said It's fine, If the situation was reversed I'd do the same. She was smiling the whole time, both hands in fists on her hips. She was fully dressed, capri's, long sleeve sport top, socks and hiking boots, a wide brim hat and a hydration back pack, a can of bear spray on her pack strap. She was tall in those boots, about my height, In great shape not fat and not skinny.

I asked, "Did you see people behind you on the trail ?" Her reply made me so weak In the knees she reached out and grabbed me by my elbow. She said, "Oh yes many" She held my arm tight as we both turned and looked down the trail. She saw her first, another lone female hiker was looking at us both and walking right up to us. This woman was a small thing and about twenty five or thirty I'd guess. Also fully dressed In a well put together hiking outfit.

 This new one asks, "Is Everything alright?" as the first woman let go of my arm. She replied "Yes I'm ok but he lost all his clothes in the current. " I still had a death grip on my quickly growing penis and scrotum. The head of my penis had gotten out side of my hands and they both saw it. I was scared to try and adjust for fear of letting it pop up. Now both took a look down the trail and the new woman said. "There lots of people walking this way, more than a dozen. And there is no way to hide along this trail," My knees started to cave, the older woman grabbed my arm again and said to the other woman, "I have nothing I can give him to wear but all I can think of Is you keep an eye out for hikers while I take off my pants, I can give him my underwear." I was floored and not prepared for such kindness. I had to stop her for two reasons. That would end my naked walk of shame, even wearing women's underwear would kill the rush for me and I could no longer play my lie to these two wonderful women. I stopped her saying, " No, I got myself into this I will see it through." They both looked at me oddly. I continued with the truth about throwing my clothes in the river so I had to walk back naked for the rush and how I miscalculated the bare feet part. The older woman broke into hysterical laughter and oddly hung onto my arm the whole time. The younger one never missed a beat and said, "I have boy shorts on under my hiking shorts, let me give you those. I insist, there is just too many people back there and In the parking area."

She squats down and starts untying her shoes and we all three of us see the family coming up to us, Mom, Dad, three kids, I estimated 18,17,15 years old. Mom and Dad were late thirties I'd bet. And now the older woman even after I told her the truth about what I had done, she tells the family my lie about the current and slipping on a rock, still holding my arm like she's afraid I'll panic and run off. the other girl is now shucking her shorts right there then steps out of them and with out missing a beat pulls her boy short underwear right off. She was facing me and I got an eye full of a natural sandy blond beaver. The family makes haste and walks on by not saying anything. The older woman takes the boy shorts from her then opens the boy shorts up, holding them low for me right by my knees. I stepped Into them. they fit tight and with my penis pointing up they held my junk. I was no longer nude.

I thanked them both, with a big smile the older one said you'll be fine now. the younger one walked on first. I said thank you for keeping me from being arrested. She said oh no the park rangers would have believed your story and helped you out. Still with the biggest smile she said, "Be careful exposing yourself like that, have a nice day" and she was gone. I walked on another mile or so seeing no one and was determined to finish my naked walk so I stripped off the boy shorts and tucked them under a heavy rock. 

I didn't make it ten steps before the woods opened up next to the river with a big flat area. There were a dozen people there, both sexes, mixed ages, all frozen and staring at me as I walked by. I forgot to cover my penis so they saw everything. Oh what a rush ! My hands were shaking now.  Everything was so surreal as a moment later I passed a group of three senior men. They stopped stared smiled big ear to ear grins and I just kept walking. I was fully erect now and that got a, "oh my" out of the old lady that was most likely one of their wives. She stopped and watched me walk by her. The best part of that encounter was the trail was very narrow. She stopped and turned sideways facing me and I turned sideways facing her. She was smiling as she looked down and saw my penis miss bumping her by just a few Inches. We were that close.

Fear was taking over so I did my best to cover my penis. I was at the beginning of the parking lot and had to say excuse me as I walked through a group of five college age girls. They loved what was happening, One asked what happened, I told my slip on the rock and lost my clothes story. They all had their phones out taking pictures as I walked by. I forget the big girls comment but it sounded sexy. They broke into hysterical laughter as I moved on past them. I looked up and around me, I had more than twenty people all looking at me as I cut through a row pf parked cars.  

Arrest was bound to happen as I was about to be in the open with a long way to go to get to my car. Then I herd a man say Excuse me, Excuse me sir. My heart stopped, I turned to see and old man and his wife walking fast towards me. They were both seventy or so.

They walked right up to me and said, "Our car is right there" pointing at a two door jeep with the back packed full of stuff. I walked with them. She was a really big woman and he was just as big. They got in, he in the drivers seat pointing for me to follow her.  "You'll fit on my lap" and she literally pulled me in on top of her. I wasn't really sitting I was kind of laying on her with my head next to hers. She had one arm across my chest and her other hand cupped tightly holding onto my penis and scrotum. Her  hands were calloused and rough but I didn't care. I told the guy where my car was and he said, "You'd never have made it" just as we all saw a sheriff drive by on a patrol.

 He stopped behind my car, asked about my keys, I told him, I got out and had just said thank you to the smiling old woman as he briskly drove away. I had three more people staring at me, I got my keys and drove away. I had no clothes in the car but made it home without incident.

I wrote this up as soon as I could so I would not forget any of the details. There are those that don't believe my wild stories, your problem not mine. To any fans I may have. I did this, every detail really happened. This Is how I get off.