Mr. Softy Revisits His Younger Self

     Guys, raise your hand if, in your early years, you tried doing it with a toilet paper or paper towel roll. Seemed like a good idea at the time right?  A little lotion or liquid soap inside should work… Oh, and it did, so nice and slippery! Until the moisture-weakened tube ruptures even more quickly. I’d even tried with a half-full roll, to help hold that flimsy cardboard tube together as I slammed into it and only got the same ruptured tube and a bunch of sticky paper clinging to my dick.

     A very disappointing moment for a horny 13-year-old.

46 years later, my wife & I are taking two weeks alongwi th a couple of her cousins helping her widowed aunt who’s hospitalized with serious medical issues. We’re a week in, going back & forth from her small two bedroom house where we’re all staying to the hospital. My wife is completely stressed out, we’re sleeping in her aunt’s bed, her two cousins are right on the other side of the wall, so sex is the last thing on my mind. (And not-an-option for my wife for reasons we didn’t need to voice but which I understood quite well.) 

     While having sex may have been something I wasn’t thinking about that morning as I was brushing my teeth, I too, was stressed out. Unfamiliar surroundings, awkward family situation, lack of sleep the last night or two, work piling up back home and, yes, OK, no sex for the past couple weeks. 

     This morning the women had all gone off to the hospital early and I’d cleaned up the breakfast dishes and had a second mug of coffee. Now, standing there at the bathroom sink I was alone for the first time in days, naked and… damn, I was horny. 

     Under the circumstances, I felt a bit awkward about even feeling that way. Here we all were, essentially on death watch, and I’m thinking in a couple of minutes I’m going to be stepping into this woman’s shower and then pumping my slippery, if not fully hard, dick … and I’m liking that thought. I hadn’t done this in a while, used to frequently. But with age and a wife who still likes (and expects & deserves) a good pounding with some frequency, I’d been taking myself in hand far less frequently in the past few years and sometimes, kinda missed it. 

     This morning that was not an issue and as I finished my teeth I lifted my dick, lay it on the cool smooth edge of the sink and, remembering to put a little liquid soap there to ease my slide across the porcelain, I quickly adjusted myself into the proper angle of attack, took ahold of the vanity with both hands and began to gently hump the edge of the basin.

     I watched myself in the mirror as I slowly slid back and forth, the familiar motions at once both relaxing and stimulating. This was always a preliminary pleasure, the direct stimulation on my frenulum while still flaccid as it passed over the sink’s curved age a delicious little tease, just enough to give me a tingle and then the little pleasure shivers as I’d harden up but then once erect any continued humping only led to unpleasant friction; something different then was required.

    That’s how it used to be at least. This morning I’d tingled and started to shiver as I began ever so slightly to plump up, but then Mr. Softy delivered, refusing to further engorge. I looked at my face in the mirror then down at my still mostly soft member as it moved across the rounded edge of the sink, then closed my eyes and continued to slowly hump and shiver, sighing now and then. There was no one to hear, so why not?

    This had in the past been just a fleeting pleasurable sensation I’d been able to enjoy on my way to full erection. This morning I was shivering over and over, every few or half dozen pumps.  I must have ridden the sink for a good five minutes before stopping. 

     I had every intention then of getting in the shower, leaning in the corner against the wall, and pumping myself to orgasm. But as I’d reached for the towel to place within reach of the shower, I noticed the half-emptied roll of toilet paper. Yeah, well… not going to be busting open any of those now, am I? 

    But, wait: could I fuck it soft? 

    I folded up the towel lengthwise and placing the TP tube with its mouth slightly overhanging the edge, I rolled it up inside the towel. Then, bearing in mind from further, and painful, teenage experience, that soap is NOT the choice for vigorous shower masturbation, and from later experiences ravaging various inanimate objects that you can never have too much lube, I squirted a helluva lot of my wife’s aunt’s hair conditioner into the tube. Turning back to the vanity, I placed my soft, fluffy little fuck-buddy on the edge of it, positioned it for easy entry, placed the head of Mr. Softy, who had by now almost completely deflated, at the entrance, took hold of the towel roll, and shoved myself in. 

    They say if you are ever made nervous speaking in front of or being questioned by, someone in authority, that you can make that person seem less intimidating by imagining him or her in their underwear. Well, try instead imagining him doing what I was then; I’ve been that guy that makes you nervous and believe me, you would not have been intimidated if you’d seen me doing what I did in the next ten minutes or so. 

     I slipped inside the tube and it was cool and smooth and soft and wet and slippery and as I slowly began to

pump, Mr. Softy began to plump right up to half-staff after a minute or two and there he stayed. And I stood there and watched myself in the mirror (while my eyes were still open…) and got into it and fucked the hell out of that little lubed tube and no matter how fast or hard I pounded it, my dick stayed half hard and fit just right and felt so damned good in there! My thoughts bounced back and forth between how good it felt, how ridiculous I must have looked pounding away at that thing with my sex-tacy face on, how absurd it was that at my age I was doing this and enjoying it so much and then, after awhile realizing it wasn’t going to make me come. If felt really, really good, blowjob-level good, in fact but after again really jamming it hard, I knew I wasn’t going to come.

    And at this point, yeah… I wanted to come!

    I wanted to come, bad.

    I pulled out and again was thinking to beat it in the shower, but doing so seemed almost like a defeat. My little contraption had felt so good, I really wanted to come inside it. 

    I gave it one last try. Going down to the floor, holding the towel roll pressed against me to keep my dick inside, I got on my knees. Then, holding the towel beneath my hips, I lay down over it, my chest, shoulders, face and knees pressed to the rug, my feet braced against the closed door, and adjusting the towel & tube slightly to properly receive my thrusts, I began to fuck it. 

     It was cramped and awkward and my knees & arms almost immediately began to hurt, but holy cow, now it was happening! I thrust down into it at an angle rocking forward with each stroke and I could feel myself hardening up. Maybe the angle, different pressure, the tension in my hips but suddenly I had an erection and really hard one! I clutched that towel under me and now, psyched up, fucked it hard. I’d put in so much lube I was still super slick and now making slurpy sounds as I slid in and out, my pleasure quickly mounting. I felt my dick pressing against the sides of the tube, felt it caressing me then grabbing me, and I realized, yes, I was going to come soon, and come inside it. I rested my chin on the rug, staring blankly at the bright white edge of the tub and hearing now the door creaking as I began to push off it to drive my thrusts.  

    I pumped and pumped knowing I’d come soon. When I felt the tube start to tear I noted only the pleasure of the slight difference in feel it offered and when moments later it ripped open completely rather than disappointing me, the new sensation triggered my orgasm. I’d put in so much lube the destruction of the tube didn’t matter. I shoved myself into the slippery, wet mass of shredded, sodden cardboard, tissue paper and the wet, soft towel that then caressed and clutched at my erection barely having time to marvel at the new sensation before I suddenly came, joyously, caught a bit by surprise, crying out and then grunting as I ejaculated and continued to thrust into the channel my dick had plowed through the mass of lube soaked paper product within the rolled towel. After I’d finished and started to go soft, I just lay there atop it for several minutes, too drained to move.

     Helped both my stress and my horniness.