Worshipping Masturbation

From the beginning of the evolution of humans, men and women have worshiped two gods – Fornication and Masturbation. Followers of Fornication are called ‘fuckers’ and worshipers of Masturbation are called ‘wankers’.

Both Fornication and Masturbation offer human pleasure, but wankers can be more relaxed and carefree about their practices than fuckers, because fucking can lead to pregnancies, whereas wankers are free of any serious consequences to their actions.

For this reason, the religions of Fornication (such as Christianity, Islam, Judaism) have developed norms, sometimes called ethics or morals, to control the consequences of their favoured practices. They say for example, that men and women should be faithful to each other, that they should be married before they fuck, and they condemn the practices of the wankers (which they regard as a form of self-abuse) as immoral and forbidden. This has led to a long history of fornicators trying to make wankers ashamed of their religious beliefs and practices.

Because of the moral condemnation by the followers of fornication, wankers have tended to be more private, even secretive, in their religious practices. They generally worship Masturbation on their own, although group masturbation and mutual masturbation are also common practices. The worship of masturbation is harmless and beneficial for the health of wankers.

However, fornication necessarily involves two or more people and is more likely to lead to social harm through the spread of diseases apart from the problem of unwanted pregnancies. Some followers of Fornication believe that the state of pregnancy is holy and aborting a pregnancy is immoral. In the USA, some states have made abortion illegal. This is a serious political problem and leads to many unhappy, even desperate, unwanted pregnancies.

No such problem exists for wankers who can enjoy their pleasurable worship of Masturbation without any worries or restrictions unless they are being persecuted by self-righteous fuckers.

Many – probably most – humans, worship both Masturbation and Fornication, though they may only practice wanking secretly. Some wankers desperately want to become fuckers but cannot persuade another human to fornicate with them. They may pay someone (often referred to as a ‘prostitute’) to be a temporary partner for the purposes of fucking and institutions exist to facilitate this practice. These are called by various names such as brothels, knocking shops, whorehouses, houses of ill-repute etc.

Institutions devoted to wanking also exist – usually masquerading as Massage Parlours or Saunas – though some of these will permit, or even promote, activities for both wankers and fuckers.

Over the centuries worshipers of Masturbation have had a bad press. To be called a ‘wanker’ is usually a term of abuse, suggesting that the person is useless. This derives from the fact that while wanking is pleasurable it does not have a socially useful function, in the way that reproduction does.

Religions that worship fornication, or sexual intercourse, have tended to be guilty about the pleasure that is derived from the practice. Some have promoted the idea that the most holy worshipers are those who can abstain from fornication and remain celibate – such monks, nuns and priests. However, it is likely that, in the absence of fornication, many of the monks, priests and nuns secretly worship at the altar of Masturbation (though this is disputed and unproved).

It is worth pointing out that forcible fornication, called ‘rape’, is far more serious than forcibly wanking someone though this too is very wrong because the victim, male or female, has not consented to the act. Any force used without the consent of the victim in the act of fornication or masturbation is morally wrong – not because the act is wrong but because consent has not been given.

Freudian psychoanalytic theory suggested that worshiping Masturbation, especially by women, was an inferior religion because Freud believed in the superiority of the vaginal orgasm over the clitoral orgasm. This theory has subsequently been shown to be a totally misconceived understanding of the nature of the female orgasm. It is likely that Freud had been influenced by the history of followers of Fornication who have pushed the idea that a cock in the vagina was morally superior to manual stimulation of the clitoris or a dildo/vibrator in the vagina.

In this paper I have argued for the moral equivalence of the two religions of Masturbation and Fornication but I have suggested that whereas wanking is harmless and pleasurable, fucking can lead to harm, and often does.

I leave the discussion to you.